Cool Conversation Starter Tips for Every Situation | How To Start A Conversation With A Stranger

Have you ever wanted to get to know someone, but you didn't know how to start the conversation? A good conversation starter is like starting a car engine. If you don’t know how to start the engine, you will not go anywhere. “Haven’t we met before?” may sound too common and obvious. There is a way to turn this common ice breaker into a cool and natural conversation opener. Starting a conversation with strangers can be easy, if you know how to go about it. Here are a few simple and cool conversation starter tips and strategies that I have found useful.

Is she/he interested to talk to me?

If you wonder whether the stranger is interested to talk to you, observe their body language. They will show their interest non-verbally by:

· looking at you more than once

· smiling at you, having their arms and legs uncrossed in an open position

· have their legs crossed towards you

Persons of opposite sex who are attracted to you may indicate their interest in several more gestures such as

· straightening their clothes

· combing their hair

· caressing certain parts of their bodies

· rubbing an object like a glass or chair

· letting you catching them looking at you, and then holding their gaze a few more seconds before turning their eyes away

How do I start?

Once you have decided whom you are interested to start the conversation, the subsequent step is to smile, make eye contact, and speak.

While many people sit around pondering with uncertainty for the ‘perfect’ conversation starter, research has shown that what you say is relatively insignificant. However, it helps to start with positive openers. Negative openers generally discourage others to talk to you and will probably set a depressed tone for the conversation. A man once approached a woman in a party and started conversation with, ‘Oh my, I can’t stand all this rock music!’ She replied, ‘Well then, why are you still here?’

So, first tip: Start with positive openers.

A good conversation starter doesn’t have to be wonderfully clever, witty, funny or meaningful; ordinary comments are just fine.

What is important is the opportunity to make the first contact and get the conversation going thereafter. If the other person is interested, he or she will help you to find common interest and move the conversation to a more personal level.

Second tip: Start with ordinary comment.

 

What should I say?

Thinking up a conversation starter is simple. Basically, you have three areas of topic to choose from. To remember it, think of the acronym, SOY :

1. Situation

2. Other Person

3. Yourself

And there are only three ways to start, remember the acronym GAS :

1. Give an opinion

2. Ask a question

3. State a fact

Your first aim is to get the other person interested to talk to you, so the best approach to start a conversation is usually by asking a question.

“There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.” ~James Nathan Miller

Closed ended questions are fine, but avoid asking too many of them in a row. Stating an opinion works well too, certainly better than just voicing out a fact. When you talk about facts like, ‘It rains a lot lately,’ or ‘The house is beautiful’, the fact doesn’t involved the other person, so, the next step is to ask a question, such as, ’Have you tasted the cheese? It’s so delicious.’ Basically, switch between asking a question, giving an opinion or stating a fact to start the conversation. Let’s have a look at the ‘SOY’ topics, and see how we can use them in starting a conversation.

Talk About the Situation

Talking about the situation you are both in is usually the safest and easiest of the three ‘SOY’ options to start a conversation. It is less likely to provoke anxiety than talking about the other person. It is also more likely to encourage involvement of the other person than talking about yourself.

To start a conversation about the situation, look around to find things that interest or puzzle you. If possible, look for things that the other person is also likely to want to talk about. Here are some examples of openers under different situations or surroundings. Keep in mind that they are no better than what you are likely to come up with. Saying something is often better than remaining speechless.

At a bowling game:

‘Which team do you think will win? Why do you say that?’

At an art gallery:

‘What do you suppose the artist wanted to say?’

At a supermarket:

‘I notice you are buying artichokes. Do you by any chance know how to choose a good one? ‘

‘I notice that you bought some apple cider vinegar. I have always wondered, is it really beneficial for health?’

‘I notice that you have chosen some beetroot. I have always been curious, how do you prepare them?’

"Would you like a taste of my forbidden fruit?" ~ contributed by Jasmine JellyBaby

Waiting in line for a movie:

‘What have you heard about this movie? What made you decide to watch it?’

Waiting in a queue:

‘Hi, this queue doesn't seem to be moving much, does it? Since we have to spend hours here queuing, I guess I should introduce myself: I am Dave. What is your name?’

To a neighbour:

‘Your roses bloom so beautifully. What’s your secret? What’s that you’re working on?’

‘I could not help but notice that you have a new dog. What’s his name? Where did you get it from?’

In an elevator:

‘This must be the world’s slowest elevator.’ (If the other person is interested to talk to you, he or she may response by comparing it to another elevator somewhere else.)

And here is a good ice-breaker in an elevator by David Wygant:

“What is it about elevators that make everyone so quiet? We all do the same thing in an elevator: we look at the buttons and say nothing. So, how are you today?”

At a Laundromat :

‘Would you mind showing the settings I should use for this machine?’

‘How much detergent do you think I should put in?’

In a classroom:

‘I missed the lecture yesterday, what did the lecturer talk about?’,

‘What do you think will come out in the exam?’,

‘What do you think the teacher meant by that?’

At a shop to the salesgirl,

‘What would you recommend for a party dress?’

In an airplane:

‘Which movie would you recommend? Have you watched any of these movies?’

‘Hi, I could not help but noticed the book you are reading, ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. So, what do you think about it? And by the way, my name is Dave.

In a party:

‘How did you happen to be at this party?’

‘Hi! I am Dave. My friend and I were just talking about what women value the most in men they date, and could not agree. Would you mind giving us your opinion?’

"Hello, I feel I should know you" and proceded to introduce yourself. ~ contributed by Les Trois Chenes

"How much does a polar bear weigh?" "Not sure..." "Enough to break the ice. I'm _____" ~ contributed by TylerCapp

Talk About The Other Person

Most people are glad to talk about themselves and will be pleased to respond to any questions or comments about themselves. Before you start, observe what the other person is doing, reading, saying, looking or wearing and think of something you would be interested to know more about.

At a party:

‘That’s an interesting T-shirt. Tell me, what does that symbol stands for?’

In the street:

‘You look lost. How can I help?’

‘I am looking for Body shop, would you mind telling me the direction to get there?’

After a meeting:

‘That was an interesting comment you made just now. Tell me, why do you think the property prices are escalating lately?’

To an air stewardess:

‘I have often curious about the qualifications required to be an air stewardess. Do you mind telling me about it?’

At a sports event:

‘You’re the best player here. What do you do to train?’

While jogging:

‘What kind of running shoes are those ? Why do you choose that brand?’

 

Talk About Yourself

Though common as they are, conversation starters about yourself seldom stimulate conversation. Research has shown that strangers are often than not more interested to talk about themselves than talking about you. Unless you are asked a question about yourself, your profession, interests or family, it is best not to volunteer information about yourself.

You can do it !

Starting a conversation is probably the most challenging part in the beginning of a relationship. If you don’t start, there will not be a beginning.

A turtle travels only when it sticks its neck out. ~ Korean Proverb

Don’t forget that many people are the same as you, and they need courage to start a conversation. Therefore, don’t be afraid to be the first to initiate a conversation. Who knows, one day, you may find yourself sharing your brave or memorable first encounter with your grandchildren.

If you need more tip or a push, get a social lubricant .... beer ! (as recommended by rmcali01)

 

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